elegant rebel - CELEBRATE YOUR UNIQUENESS
Welcome to
PeAchy's Perch
Elegant rebel - celebrate your uniqueness
About my blog
What is it that fuels you? For me, I
love writing about my elegantly rebellious world and what interests me, and
sharing my thoughts.
PeAchy's Perch is an open and honest
platform about how to find the moments which glitter and glimmer every day. Elegant Rebel is truly my passion project, gaining more and more traction each day. I
hope you enjoy my ponderings and all of the unique content I offer. Take a look
around; perhaps you’ll discover what exhilarates you as well. Are you ready to
elegantly rebel and celebrate all your glittering uniqueness? And if you'd prefer the more interactive version of PeAchy's Perch pop over to the Elegant Rebel Ponders blog site.
Beauty beyond the surface
As we await the pending arrival of my cards, I thought I would share a couple of my favourites from my Re-ignite your Elegant Rebel® deck. I pulled these two this morning as part of my daily soul writing practice.
It’s uncommon for me to share cards I have pulled, as they are messages from my soul to me – like when you pull your cards, it’s messages from your soul to you. However, today’s cards required sharing. A global reminder, if you will, about slowing down and inhaling the beauty of the metaphorical roses.
These cards capture the two incredibly linked concepts of intrinsic beauty and slowing down to ‘walk in beauty’. With so much chaotic energy surrounding the world now, and in a time where external appearances often dominate our perceptions, these somewhat ancient concepts of beauty invite us to look much deeper than the exterior shininess.
Let’s begin with intrinsic beauty. For starters, it is not about the symmetry of one's features or the allure of physical attributes; these notions are subjective, fleeting, and temporary. It is about the essence that lies within you. It reflects your shimmering soul. It’s about being you in all your youness, authentically, stylishly and truthfully. Beauty is not dependent on external factors, appearances, external validation or recognition. Your inner wisdom reflects your beauty. Your luminescence reflects your beauty.
Intrinsic beauty is the radiance of a kind heart, the glow of a compassionate soul, and the light of a generous spirit. It is the quiet strength which you show in times of adversity, your shining resilience, and your grace which accompanies your humility. This form of beauty is timeless and ageless, transcending the superficial standards set by society.
Your intrinsic beauty is revealed through actions, words, and the lasting impression we have on others. It is the kindness shown to a stranger, the patience extended to a friend, and the love given without expectation.
We can also find intrinsic beauty in nature. The gnarled branches of the ancient oak tree, the rugged mountain peaks, and the strength in the ocean’s ebb and flow all possess a beauty that is not immediately apparent. Through nature we are constantly reminded true beauty often lies beneath the surface, waiting to be discovered.
This concept has fascinated philosophers, artists, and thinkers for centuries. In ancient Greece, philosophers like Plato and Aristotle explored the idea of beauty beyond the physical realm. Plato believed in the existence of an ideal form of beauty that transcends the material world. He argued that true beauty is eternal and unchanging, and it can only be perceived through the mind's eye.
Aristotle, on the other hand, emphasised the importance of harmony and proportion in beauty. He believed intrinsic beauty is found in the balance and order of things, whether in nature or in human creations. While this idea of harmony and balance is overtly appealing to my Libran-ness, it has also influenced various art forms throughout history, from classical architecture to Renaissance paintings.
In Eastern philosophies, intrinsic beauty is often associated with inner virtues and moral qualities. In Buddhism, for example, intrinsic beauty is linked to the purity of the mind and the cultivation of compassion and wisdom.
Centuries in the making, the concept continues to resonate today. It reminds us to look beyond the surface and appreciate the deeper qualities that make someone or something truly beautiful. It encourages us to value kindness, compassion, grace, and authenticity, and to recognise the beauty that lies within.
For me it is also linked to the concept of ‘walking in beauty’ – traditions and philosophies deeply rooted in many First Nations cultures. It is a holistic way of living which emphasises slowing down, harmony, balance, and respect for all living things. This philosophy is not just about physical beauty but encompasses spiritual, emotional, and environmental well-being.
The term ‘walk in beauty’ is often associated with a holistic approach to life. It’s about embracing both inner and outer beauty and living in harmony with the world around you. It reminds us that true beauty stems from within and is reflected through one's actions, thoughts, and interactions.
For example, in the Navajo tradition, ‘walking in beauty’ is known as ‘Hózhó’. It is a way of life which seeks to maintain balance and harmony in all aspects of existence. Hózhó is about living in a way that honours the interconnectedness of all things, recognising every action has an impact on the world around us. It is a reminder to live with integrity, kindness, and respect for oneself, others, and the environment.
Walking in beauty is also a communal practice. It involves creating and maintaining harmonious relationships within the community and with the land. It is about recognising the sacredness of all life and striving to live in a way that honours that sacredness.
In today's fast-paced and often disconnected world, the concept of walking in beauty – like intrinsic beauty – is a powerful reminder of the importance of balance and harmony. It encourages us to slow down, appreciate the beauty around us, and live in a way that is mindful and respectful.
How fabulous would the world be if we all embraced this philosophy? A world where we cultivated a deeper sense of connection to ourselves, our communities, and the natural world. A world where we all lived with intention, sought harmony in all aspects of our lives, and recognised the beauty all around us. When we choose to walk in beauty, we can create a more balanced, harmonious, and beautiful world for ourselves and future generations.
Both of the cards I pulled this morning are asking me, and us, to live a life that radiates inner beauty, kindness, and authenticity. A life of balance and harmony. One where we embrace our unique qualities and live in a way that reflects your true self.
So the next time you seek beauty, look beyond the surface. Embrace the imperfections, slow down and cherish the uniqueness, and recognise the intrinsic beauty that resides within every soul.
And always remember, your Elegant Rebel® beauty is timeless, constant and unwavering, regardless of external influences and circumstances. You possess and embody your beauty. Be you in all your divine, intrinsic beauty and keep captivating hearts and minds as only an Elegant Rebel® can.
Follow
your heart...
cheesy cliché or elegant recipe
What a delightful, unexpected happenstance! Talk about
being super surprised. While researching for this blog, sitting amongst the
Rumi, Paulo Coelho, Brené
Brown, Gabrielle Bernstein and Oprah Winfrey quotes was one from the Modfather
himself – Paul Weller.
How could I not use this quote? Weller tunes have been
the mainstay of me following my soul nudges and my heart since I was 12 years
old. Yup that’s over four decades of inspo! So, it’s always a bonus when I can
weave some Weller magic into my writing! And while I wouldn’t normally use the terminology
of ‘living a lie’ it seems quite pertinent for this story.
Despite choosing to follow my heart and my soul nudges
many moons ago and embracing my youness, there are still some areas of my life
I often push into the background. This mainly stems from a place of fear – fear
of being perceived as a wee bit too out there for folks in my life. For me,
masking and camouflaging stems from a need to feel safe and a need to quell my
alleged ‘too muchness’. I could argue my approach isn’t the technical
definition of lying, however it is still akin to the sentiment of ‘living a
lie’. Thank you Mr Weller.
This story starts about 12 months ago when I chose to
have a chat to myself and say, enough! Masking and camouflaging – my version of
‘living a lie’ – began to leave the building, and I began to truly embrace my neuroquirky,
elegantly rebellious self. No more hiding my youness and who I truly am!
And as the Weller playlist kicks in, it occurs to me
there is much poignancy in his words. How can you follow your heart without
being your true self? Simple answer – you can’t!
To follow your heart requires a level of accepting
yourself and following your soul nudges, let alone the somewhat mythical
concept of self-love. Following your heart does sound a wee bit like a cheesy
Rom-Com cliché and I quite possibly would glaze over if someone started sharing
with me their opinion on how I should do this. However. When my soul is giving
me the ‘follow me’ nudge and it is devoid of external opinion, and I can easily
embrace this – in my way!
So what was the outcome of my inner voice ‘enough is
enough’ chat? The outcome is incredibly layered, like that Christmas dip we all
make! So cue the information sharing music, and you may need that cuppa to keep
up! For those playing at home, currently I’m up to The Style Council era of the
Weller playlist and have my peppermint and ginger tea at the ready. So here we
go…
Some of you may know I re-trained as a Holistic
Counsellor and Happiness Coach after I was medically retired a few years ago,
so my approach to ‘following my heart’ stems from this training and has a basis
in clinical psychology. Carl Rogers in fact.
First off, let's tip our hats to Carl Rogers, the
grand-daddy of client-centered therapy.
Carl Rogers was the American Psychologist who
could probably make a statue talk about its feelings and turned the therapy
world, at the time, on its head by suggesting ‘maybe the client knows a thing
or two about their own life.’ Sound familiar? And sounds just a wee bit
elegantly rebellious, right?
Before Rogers came along, therapists were all
about randomly decoding dreams and telling you, your compulsive need to clean
your glasses stemmed from unresolved potty-training issues. But Rogers was
like, ‘Or, let's just listen to what the person has to say.’
So, the first layer of the elegant rebel dip is
based in client-centered therapy where everyone's inner voice gets a vote, and the
approach gives power back to the people. Imagine that! The therapist is a
facilitator, providing a safe space for clients to explore their feelings
without fear of judgment or unsolicited advice. It's a place where ‘Mm-hmm’ and
‘Tell me more’ are the magic words.
But wait, there's more! Enter stage left the next
layer of this delicious dip – holistic counseling. As a general overview, holistic
counseling is like that friend who's into energy healing, crystals, cards, and
has an essential oil for every day of the week. Sound like anyone you may know
perhaps? It's not just about talking, which is the mainstay of client-centred
therapy; it's about connecting the mind, body, and spirit in a harmonious
trifecta of well-being.
And one of the reasons I love the combination of holistic
counselling and client-centered therapy is, it simply achieves the beauty of
both worlds: a non-judgmental listening ear and a holistic game plan to tackle
life's curveballs. It’s elegantly rebellious.
Now, even though following your heart truly does
sound like the cheesy cliché, in Rogers' world, it's all about that inner GPS known
as 'self-actualisation'. It's like your heart is the captain of a ship, and
your brain is the overthinking first mate who can't decide if it wants Italian
or Thai for dinner.
Rogers believed in the power of the 'actualising
tendency', which is basically your inner cheerleader, cheering you on to reach
your full potential. It's your inner voice reminding you, "You’ve got this!".
He also introduced us to 'unconditional positive regard', which is just a fancy
way of talking about allowing yourself to shine as the youest version of you,
quirks and all.
But what has any of this got to do with my realisation
12 months ago, that I wasn’t truly following my heart? My training as a
Coach/Counsellor and passion for using my knowledge to assist others is one of
the parts of myself I’ve been hiding! Diminishing my ability. Denouncing it
even!
And while I do love simply sharing information –
it’s my Human Design in fact – this is the clinical background to why I am that
person who bangs on about being the youest version of you, you can be. When I
finally chose to embrace my knowledge, I also allowed myself to follow my long-held
dream of developing my own oracle cards.
Embracing my knowledge and following my heart is
why I started developing my Elegant Rebel Oracle Cards – so you too can have
the cheerleader in your back pocket 24/7. So you too can hear your soul nudges
and feel connected to your soul’s voice. So you too can follow your heart and be
your true self!
Developing my cards opened my eyes to exactly how
much of my true self I have been hiding for way too long. I had fallen into a soul-numbing
circle of being who I thought others needed me to be, not what my heart and
soul was strongly suggesting for me! Developing my cards was me finally
following my heart. Writing the guidebook for my cards used all my counsellor,
coach and soul coaching® oracle
reader and psychic training. Yes psychic training. I own a Diploma of
Professional Psychic. Bet you didn’t know that!
The idea for my cards did actually drop in a few
years ago. However, I put them on hold as I kept tripping over boulders on my
path instead of following my soul glimmers. The biggest rock was the artist I
had chosen to design the artwork for my cards lost his eyesight and then
disappeared. I took this, incorrectly, as a sign to not develop my cards. I
allowed my fear of failure to take hold. I gave into the sabotage belief that I
didn’t know enough to be able to share with others. I gave my power over to others
and chose not to follow my heart.
There I was with my card dream relegated to the
background, floating around just doing ‘stuff’ which I felt was following my
heart and soul nudges. And it was, and I was… but I wasn’t 100% on board to be
honest. I was subconsciously fearful of truly following my heart. I was
following a few glimmer threads – so it wasn’t all doom and gloom. One of these
threads was setting up my first in-person speaking event after several years.
It was this event which changed my course. Which
is kind of weird, as I am not at one with public speaking. But there I was. At
a Breast Cancer Month event. At my own choice. Chatting about being a proud
Flattie, recently discovering I was clinically neurodivergent and talking about
being the youest version of yourself and yet feeling like I wasn’t truly practicing
what I was preaching.
It was the beautiful souls in attendance and my co-hosts
who unknowingly lifted me up and gave me the impetus to stand in my light and
really embrace me and follow my heart. This was the moment I decided to embrace
my dream of folks having the Elegant Rebel Queenie in their back pocket 24/7. Then,
seemingly out of left field, my soul gave my heart another nudge and a
glimmering trail to follow where I was able to embrace my writing, coaching and
publishing expertise, and physically bring my cards to life.
So off I went and followed the path to design my
cards. It flowed so easily and I was super proud and excited about all I was
achieving. Back in flow and following my soul purpose and my heart. When it
came to writing the guidebook. I baulked. The ‘what do I know?’ returned.
Gratefully I was able to sense the limiting beliefs arriving before they took
too strong a hold. And it turns out I know a wee bit about this stuff. I know
how to channel information from my soul. I also know how to read cards and how
to teach others how to read cards. Many of you will know my preference is to
read cards with you, not for you. And I have been on this path for many years. How
does reading for you, help you in the long run to understand how your soul
chats with you? It’s kinda like the ‘loaves and fishes’ analogy for me.
I was also able to intentionally use the client-centred approach in the development of my cards. There’s a reason every card comes with a set of questions to get you to start thinking or even writing! This is the underlying tenet for all that I do. Listening to people, no judgement, acceptance of self and others, and encouraging folks to follow their hearts to be their uniquely gorgeous, elegantly rebellious selves. And my cards reflect the various attributes of being just this. Re-igniting your elegant rebel in fact.
I won’t lie – the process of following your heart
isn’t always the easiest route but it certainly is the most rewarding. True
beauty emerges when you choose to listen to your soul’s truth, your inner
voice, your passions and desires.
I was also
reminded during the development process for my cards, that doubts and fears
lower your vibrational energy. It’s like you are looking through the fog. You
can sense there’s something there, but it’s murky and cloudy. It was only
natural I got stuck when doubt and fear set in. To truly follow your heart, it
takes intention to clear away these doubts and fears.
Remember
though, willingness and intention to clear any doubts and fears doesn’t mean
you are instantly protected from the risk that comes with following your heart
and taking chances. But know this. Do not fear making mistakes or taking
chances. Be willing to explore new paths. Allow yourself the courage and grace
to be imperfect and to step away from the familiar and take risks. For me this
meant learning to trust. To understand when it’s safe to unmask and share my
youness with the world fully and that it’s more than okeh to follow my heart,
even when it’s not quite what the world expects.
And
those proverbial boulders along the way are there for a reason. They’re not
there as an excuse to hold yourself back from truly following your heart. They’re
there to guide you along the way, reminding you that you truly have got this
and assist you in developing your tenacity and navigating skills.
If you do encounter boulders or bumps along your path and they feel insurmountable, know that the sun will rise again tomorrow, giving you another opportunity to tune into your heart and your soul and to trust that life is happening for you and has a unique way of unfolding just for you. Your heart will guide you through every twist and turn.
It really is your choice as to whether you sense following your heart is a recipe or a cheesy cliché. All I can suggest is to trust yourself, take a deep breath, and step forward. Personally, I’m 100% on board with the recipe version to follow my heart, embrace the adventure, and let my heart and soul’s wisdom light my path. For me, the wise words of Paulo Coelho sum up my why beautifully, ‘Listen to your heart. Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.’ Or perhaps a delicious layered dip!
Elegantly taking up space
Recently I encountered this sensation. It was unexpected. For a variety of reasons. I’m not a fan of how the term ‘holding space’ is often used and it got me thinking about how folks ‘holding space’ helps us to focus on ‘taking up space’.
I know me and me my words! So. What does this neuroquirky writer mean? Here we go…
The term ‘holding space’ is bandied around quite a lot and sometimes I feel without a second thought for what it means. In fact, I am the first to question the intentions of anyone who claims to be holding space for anyone.
In my previous experience it has been a patronising approach where people jump into your energetic space without permission and feel the need to ‘fix’ you. And this is certainly not even close to the premise of truly holding space.
When I felt the true sensation of a group of like-minded souls holding space for me, it was indescribable acceptance and compassion all mixed into one. They had requested my permission to assist me or enter my energetic field, so I could achieve what I needed to and feel supported in taking up my own space.
And this, for me is the entire point of holding space. Simply being there. No fixing. No casting spells. No jumping in to save the day without actually asking what is needed. It’s about simply standing by and supporting your friend, colleague, loved one to navigate what they need to so they can stand in their own light and take up space.
You’ve no doubt had the phrase ‘holding space’ thrown at you, especially over the past few years, as it seems to be everyone’s go to phrase in certain circles. But what about the outcome as a consequence of holding space – where someone can actually take up their own space?
How often do you truly allow yourself to take up space and be the youest version of yourself? Your true self. You, in all your authenticity. Accepting yourself and sharing your kindness, grace and compassion with others as a way-shower.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be seen and heard, expressing your thoughts with compassionate conviction and had the courage to occupy the space you have earnt and deserve.
Taking up space is all about the true meaning of empowerment, for me. Embracing your presence, following your inner knowing, standing in your light and refusing to shrink into the background while maintaining a neutrality to the situation and not being dragged into someone else’s drama.
In fact, it is the number one outcome of truly embodying being an Elegant Rebel®.
Taking up space is about recognising you are always worthy. You are always enough. You are never ‘too’ anything. You deserve to be present and take up space in this realm. Own your grace, kindness and compassion. Be the Elegant Rebel® you were born to be. Stand tall and radiate your amazing energy and light so everyone can see.
There are so many reasons why we struggle with the concept of taking up space. Think ‘tall poppy’ here in Australia. But taking up space does not need to dismiss the values of humility and modesty, which are often held in high esteem. This is where being an Elegant Rebel® and taking heart-centred action with kindness, grace and compassion comes to the fore. You can stand up for your truth from a place of peace and humility, in fact you quite possibly will stand out more in this day and age.
Some of the other reasons why we may shun taking up space include:
Fear and doubting your value and worth. Fearing judgment and worrying about being perceived as arrogant or pushy or too assertive if we do. We also feel unworthy for recognition of our achievements. We’re not often encouraged to celebrate what we have achieved or share these achievements which can prevent us from confidently taking up space. Comparison also leads to self-doubt, so focus on your life’s adventure rather than measuring up to others.
Societal norms Often we are taught to be polite, quiet, and accommodating, especially women – think ‘good girl’ syndrome - and marginalized groups. Dropping these expectations to stand up in your light can be incredibly challenging but not undoable.
Power/powerless duality: We assume, and for the most part do not question, hierarchies in workplaces, classrooms, or social settings which may affect our confidence. That feeling of being powered over and inferior to authority figures or dominant personalities may leave us feeling powerless to express ourselves in any way.
Perfectionism: Striving for perfection often leads to self-censorship. We wait until we feel fully prepared or flawless before speaking up. As the amazing Denise Linn says, ‘it doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be done’.
Trauma or Past Experiences — such as bullying, rejection, or invalidation— leads to hesitancy in expressing ourselves. There’s a fear of repeating those experiences, which subsequently holds us back.
Anxiety and overanalysing situations and falling into the ‘what if…’ cycle can often paralyse us. We may also be incredibly anxious about saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood or rejected. These are big ones for me!
Fear of Conflict: Taking up space sometimes involves disagreement or confrontation. Fear of conflict prevents some of us from asserting our thoughts and points of view. I put my hand up to this one!
Lack of Role Models: When we don’t see others like us, standing in their light, gracefully taking up space, we may question whether it’s possible or acceptable. Stand in your light and be an elegantly rebellious way-shower.
Taking up space is a skill we can develop. It’s not innate in our make-up, especially with many of the above challenges in play. Taking up space involves self-enquiry, practice, establishing boundaries and values and a determined willingness to challenge our own mindset. And when we do, and embrace taking up space, we then create an environment to encourage others to take up space too, in a kind, graceful and compassionate way. We expand the strength of being an empowered Elegant Rebel®.
Remember, you are a beacon for others, so be the youest you you can be. Your very being encourages others to take up their own space too, creating a positive ripple effect. The ripples of grace, compassion and kindness flow outwards from your heart-centre.
Taking up space does not mean dominating conversations or over-powering others or being aggressive. This is not being graceful, kind or compassionate or elegantly rebellious. It’s about finding the balance between allowing yourself to be seen and heard, while respecting others.
Express your ideas with conviction and have the courage to occupy the space you so rightfully deserve. Embrace your presence and refuse to shrink into the background. Remember to set your boundaries, know your values and take heart-centred actions.
When you take up space, you step into your empowerment and contribute authentically to the world around you. So go ahead and elegantly claim your space!
Re-igniting your inner Elegant Rebel®
Every day I am discovering more and more moments and reasons to go ohhhhhhhhh I really am an Elegant Rebel®! And I know for a fact I am not the only one. Everywhere I visit or in stories I read, I see elegantly rebellious traits. In everyday folks, doing everyday things.
And then there’s the more obvious ‘famous’ folks too. Just to give you some reference point names - as this list could go on and on - Keanu Reeves would definitely qualify. Ghandi. Malala Yousafzai.
The common traits I notice within everyone I have a ‘Hmmm you’re one…’ moment with, are they all choose to follow their inner-knowing instead of societal norms and take heart-centred action filled with compassion, kindness and grace.
These are the traits which I set my internal compass by every day, along with my overarching values. I ensure I follow my inner knowing in a kind and gracious manner, for myself and others, and in general I don’t need to follow the rest of the crowd to be me.
For anyone who knows me even a wee bit or has read about some of my lived experiences, you’ll know I’m quite uncomfortable with the word normal or society dictating how I fit in. I’ve said this often, however it is the perfect quote thanks to Craig my very clever brother, ‘the fact I don’t fit in, is exactly how I fit in.’ And I have taken this to the next level by elegantly choosing to not express my existence or experiences through society’s ‘normal’ definition.
According to society I have been, since birth, ‘too… <something>’. Please feel free to insert any descriptor you would like. For me it is big, sensitive, intelligent, tall, aloof, breasts too big, feet too big, hair too curly… on and on and on. I simply never fitted the ‘normal’ mould. So it really wasn’t a stretch for me to choose to stay flat in 2015 after my breast cancer diagnosis and bilateral mastectomy, as one example of exactly how I elegantly rebel.
Or more recently, putting myself through the challenges and expense of undergoing the neurodivergent verification process, to discover I scientifically do not meet the ‘normal’ or ‘typical’ requirements. Kinda relieved I didn’t as well, if I’m honest!
Both of these examples were my choices. For me. I am a huge advocate of choice and quietly encouraging others to make choices for their own well-being as opposed to ones based on what others may want or need you to be.
Recently I discovered this Joyce Meyer Ministries quote; ‘Rebellion isn’t about chaos; it’s about challenging the status quo with purpose and elegance.’ And I couldn’t agree more.
While I do choose to be elegantly rebellious, I also choose to disrupt the norm in a quiet, purposeful, graceful manner. I’m not one to cause chaos or shout people down to stand tall and be myself. My choices challenge the status quo while being accepting and considerate of other people’s opinions, life choices and where they are on their soul path.
Does this resonate with you? Perhaps you are a bit of a quiet disruptor too? There is so much power in grace, compassion and kindness. And like me, do you want to ask lots of questions and gently cause disruption to place greater emphasis on acceptance?
You never know, you could be ready to re-ignite your inner Elegant Rebel®! Perhaps you too are a breast cancer thriver and are pondering your options post treatment. And my experience of choosing to stay flat has inspired you to start quietly disrupting society. You are pondering if you want to rebel against the accepted social norm of ‘woman equals breasts’, in the hope of increasing society’s level of acceptance of you choosing to live life your way.
Or perhaps, like me you are late verified neuroquirky, and are suddenly discovering exactly how exhausted you are from wearing all the hats and masks to be able function in a predominantly neurotypical world. We are not high-functioning, we are high-masking. There’s definitely a difference if you take the time to ponder. And you are pondering, like me, how do we gracefully disrupt a society which is not really at one with overall neurodiversity?
This is where we can get a wee bit stuck. Taking these two examples, where do you even begin to elegantly rebel and increase acceptance?
For me, rebellion and disruption start with understanding the choices available and gracefully establishing your boundaries and standards based on your personal values. If you’re not aware of your personal values, I strongly recommend taking the time to figure them out. They are your anchor point for all your choices and decision-making. Life becomes just that wee bit simpler to navigate when you are able to ask yourself if a choice or decision is in alignment with, or goes against, your values.
Some quick examples for you of how knowing your values can assist:
By understanding my personal values – respect is my #1 - I have the structure I need to push back against our society’s emphasis on requiring breasts to be a woman, and to rebel against the underlying sexualisation of this and the non-acceptance of choosing something different.
I am learning to implement personal boundaries and standards, based on my values, so I can flourish and thrive in a predominantly ‘neurotypical’ society, while minimising burnout.
Through my values and boundary setting I am also now able to question someone’s well-intentioned word usage, such as referring to me as brave or strong, and have a kind and compassionate discussion around how using such words re-emphasises the stigma around not fitting into societal norms.
These are just some random examples of how I use my values every day to elegantly rebel and increase acceptance. Knowing my values provides me with the courage to share my experience and thoughts from a place of empowering neutrality. Knowing yours may also assist you in finding your voice and being able to share with the world what your version of normal, or dare I say uniqueness, is.
This is my dream and my wish –to be able to inspire others to find their voices. To re-igniting your own inner Elegant Rebel® to find your own voice to ask questions. To take up your space, gracefully. To be empowered and act from a place of neutrality. To ask your questions. To find your version of truth. To be able to elegantly disrupt society’s version of normal, should you choose. To discover your uniqueness. To celebrate your whole being, mind, body, spirit and soul.
So before making choices and decisions based on what society believes is normal, I encourage you to consider elegantly rebelling and ask yourself, ‘what’s best for me?’. Celebrate you as a person. Honour you as a person. Respect you as a person. Love you as a person. That’s your Elegant Rebel® moment. Your version of normal. It really is that simple for me.
Remember, you are a unique blend of experiences, talents, and dreams. Embrace your quirks, learn from setbacks, and step into your authenticity. Repeat after me, I am an Elegant Rebel®. You truly have got this!
And if you feel you may need a wee bit extra guidance to embrace your own Elegant Rebel®, book a Connection Chat with me, so we can have a coffee and a natter about how we might be able to work together to re-ignite your Elegant Rebel®.
Not
better or worse, just different
Too many times to recall? Or so often you now anticipate me saying it and throw it in before I have the chance? (You know who you are!) But tell me. Have you ever considered why I say this and where it may stem from? Oddly enough it is not to simply annoy folks! Truly!
Making this statement is, for me, a reminder that ‘I am here to increase the world’s vibration through acceptance.’ Now, that is a very grand notion and one which requires a flourish and perhaps an ostentatious hand gesture or two.
But what on earth do I mean by such a grand, seemingly egoic, statement? For me it’s quite simple – acceptance is mindfulness in action. However, I recognise, as with all words, we all have a variety of definitions based on our own lived experiences which become our version of truth.
For example, I was recently introduced to a version of the term subconscious which I would never have considered. To the person sharing their understanding of the word, subconscious means ‘less than’. Whenever they hear the term subconscious, they have a visceral response and a feeling of unworthiness surfaces. Where as me, subconscious means below, as in out of sight and inside us. Fascinating stuff hey, and see how I simply accepted the other person’s version of their truth without judgement?
So, what does acceptance mean? Dictionary time – and I can guarantee my version of acceptance is not really defined in the dictionary, but we shall give it a whirl. Out comes my trusty Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary 4th edition:
Willingness to receive
An affirmative answer to an invitation or proposal
A willingness to accept (conditions, circumstances, etc.)
Approval, belief
Willingness or ability to tolerate.
To be honest the closest is number three – with a little jiggling and standing on my head perhaps. In general, the dictionary version of the word acceptance leaves me with a sense that it involves a situation where one is either powerless or using their skills to power over something or someone. And this couldn’t be farther from the meaning I associate with the term acceptance.
When I speak about acceptance it is more in line with the spiritual and experiential psychology points of view. This is when you simply notice and embrace your experience without judgement or becoming defensive. It involves acknowledging ourselves or the situation as it is – no lenses involved – and not judging or defining ourselves or the situation. It simply is. For me, this is one of the foundational steps in mindset changes leading to personal growth.
And this is also where my version of acceptance differs from the clinical dictionary versions – at no point would I place tolerating being powerless in a situation or powering over someone or a situation into the definition of acceptance. Except maybe as the antithesis of acceptance. For me, it is not a passive word, and certainly does not mean not changing what you are able to in your circle of influence.
And under all of this is self-awareness which requires a commitment to you and to changing your mindset and personal growth. And sometimes it takes putting away our egos and the muggles urge to hold onto resentment and to fully find that place of compassion, grace, clarity and forgiveness of ourselves and others.
I read somewhere today that ‘happiness wasn’t a destination’ and as a Happiness Coach I agree 1000%! Acceptance is the same. It’s a part of the ongoing odyssey of life. And as with any personal growth or taking on a new concept – be patient with yourself while you are learning as it will take time, practice and persistence.
While you are practicing look for signs that you are growing and moving towards an acceptance mindset. These can include:
Me not saying ‘Nope. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different.’ quite as often.
Feeling more at peace with yourself and the world around you.
Responding instead of reacting to claiming your boundaries.
Being more open to new experiences and perspectives.
Being more present in the moment and less preoccupied with the past or future.
Finding compassion, grace, clarity and forgiveness of ourselves and others easily.
And always remember while my version of acceptance has these underlying tenets, it certainly is bendy. Your version of acceptance as a practice is just that. It is based on your lived experiences and your personal growth odyssey. Find what works for you to be able to embrace life’s challenges with kindness, grace and equanimity – like the Elegant Rebel® I know you are.
Magic in words
January 13, 2024
Instantly I had visions of Mary Poppins all ‘tickety boo’ and ‘spit spotting’, flying around with her magic umbrella. And before you ask… Yes. I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious – no spell checking required. But that’s simply because a) I want to and b) I have sung that song way too many times to not know the cadence of its spell-ing!
And then I realised – choosing a word of the year isn’t to fit in with the latest trend – thankfully for this Elegant Rebel® – it’s about bringing magic and intention into your year.
My mindset coach says ‘It doesn’t take time, it takes intention’ to me quite often. My word of the year is that intention. It is the word that underpins all my choices for the year ahead. Like in everything, we have free will and we can obviously deviate as life happens. However, the intention of your annual word remains. Kind of like casting your own wee spell to keep you on track and focused.
Like many of us, I have undertaken the practice of choosing an annual word for a number of years now. For me though, this year is different. Hearing it referred to as an umbrella word, resonated deeply with me, stirring my inner mystic into action. The realisation of the power of creating through the intention of a single word and the magic this brings about is indescribable.
I had chosen my 2024 word prior to learning about the umbrella idea, however this concept has caused a shift towards greater embodiment of my word and reinforcing why I picked my specific word and why it is so pertinent.
You may or may not know that I have chosen ‘Flourish’ as my 2024 word. Some months ago, it appeared in my peripheral vision when I was meditating and is linked to the development of a new idea for my coaching business. And I knew then and there it was my word for 2024.
So what does this word Flourish mean? The Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary (Third Edition) time. The word has a few meanings as it can be used as both a verb and a noun – a duality word in fact, for those mystics playing at home!
The actual derivation of the word is Middle English from Old French florir via Latin florēre from flosfloris – meaning flower. It can mean the decorative curviness of my handwriting – for those of you who have seen it, you know what I mean; or an ostentatious gesture; or a fanfare played by brass instruments; or from a verb point of view, it can mean to grow vigorously; thrive; be successful; be in one’s prime; be in good health. And finally, it can mean an instance of prosperity.
One word and so many choices! Flourish’s role as a verb is what resonates with me and why I chose it as my 2024 umbrella word.
Even before I knew about the umbrella word concept, it felt as though it was a word which would match the life force energy of 2024 – an 8 year, the Year of the Green Wood Dragon and a year to take action to achieve abundance. A year to gracefully provide myself the space to flourish!
For me it is also a natural step forward from 2023. My word was ‘release’ and oh boy have I been doing that! Releasing situations, mindsets, folks, and whatever is necessary so I can create space to stand in my empowerment, be elegantly rebellious and joyful, with grace and gratitude.
Full transparency, I have been working with a mindset coach to understand the best way to achieve this for me and to establish the foundation to move forward in creating my desired end results. Don’t get me wrong just because we moved into 2024 doesn’t mean I don’t need to continue releasing ‘stuff’ – very technical term that by the way. It’s an ongoing process to facilitate creating dreams, growth and empowerment from a place of desire as opposed to lack. My umbrella word is my way of setting my intention to achieve this.
I have also been working with a neurodivergent specialist to understand the best ways for me – and my brain – to implement my knowledge and build on my foundations so I can actually flourish. Normally I burn out before achieving, as I’ve tried to follow the flock and spent so much time flapping my wings to keep up, I fall out of the sky. I clearly didn’t have a magic umbrella!
Working with different but interweaving coaches is a huge part of my plan to be successful and increase the magic flowing around me. Other than my passion for learning, intention needs actions in my world. It’s all well and good to state my word and intention for 2024 is to flourish, but to achieve this I need assistance. Finding help to discover the best ways to implement learned experiences, knowledge and the magic in creating are key steps to thriving. Who knew I wasn’t an island after all!!
Once I realised the magic in using a word of the year, it’s uses are all but endless. So far I have included it in my annual Medicine Wheel Oracle Card reading; added it as the overall intention for my alignment board (think a vision board with a bit more mysticism); intentionally using it in articles or copy I write; clearly I am continuing to develop the flourish idea that kicked off the whole 2024 word; and have included flourish in my daily desired end result actions and choices.
Celebrating where I have flourished and been successful, in any part of my life, and how I can use this to grow and to help others grow is also a key intention for my umbrella word of 2024.
Do you sense, feel, envision the magic of using a word to set an annual intention – and stick to it? Have you already achieved this? If not, perhaps take the time to do this for yourself – no one else just you. My word popped in while I was meditating and then it kept randomly appearing at a fast rate. To the point that I hilariously felt I’d used it so much, others had ‘stolen’ it from me!
However you choose to take time out to breathe – whether that’s walking, baking, reading, singing, meditating or in the shower – ask your soul for your umbrella word. No second guessing. It may be a random, weird word for you but run with it. Set your 2024 umbrella word intention based on your meaning of the word discovered in the quietude and watch the magic unfold.
Also listen to your inner knowing and if you need assistance to reach your magic destination – ask for it. Consciously create your magical flow from the intention you have set and remember you do not have to do this alone. You have support around you – look, listen and ask.
So here we go 2024. My intention is set. All be it in an elegantly rebellious fashion and there is high potential for an added ostentatious gesture or two. But above all, I will use the magic of the umbrella word and flourish in 2024. How ‘bout you?
Is the term ‘woo-woo’ dismissive?
December 15, 2023
I personally have all of the above in my purview. One annoys the bejeezus out of me! Can you guess which one?? Correct. The Hollywood one it is! Why does a wise woman have to be portrayed in such a hideous physical fashion and, more often than not, as a charlatan? Has anyone ever taken the time to research the history and science behind the words and practices before forming the standard societal opinion of ‘weirdo’! That’s a coy ‘maybe I have’ from me. Keep reading!
Many of you know by now, I am well known for being quite particular about word usage – apparently a good trait to have as a writer, editor and proofreader – and I’ve spent some time pondering the use of these words, and in particular how I use them when speaking about myself.
I’ve discovered that when I use the term ‘woo-woo’ or even my preferred term of endearment ‘fruitloop’, it’s almost like I am apologising for the knowledge I have gained, my beliefs, my boundaries and well frankly my very existence.
From an etymological point of view, the word psychic itself has its derivations in Ancient Greek and in its most simplistic form is said to mean ‘to have a soul’. Nothing too ‘woo-woo’ or fruitloopy about that now is there?
I have often stated I have a foot on either side of the great ‘woo-woo’ divide. One in the day-to-day typical world of and one on the fruitloop side. And one of my greatest passions is discovering knowledge and learning.
So it may surprise you to know that about 10 years I ago I completed a Diploma of Professional Psychic. Yes. You read that correctly. And yes I was working in a senior role for police and emergency services at the time. At that point I’d been working with police for over 15 years, so in an effort to hide my studies, I chose to take long service leave to complete my diploma. This is the perfect example of having one of my size 10s firmly planted on either side.
Reflecting on undertaking these studies is where I commence my pondering around the use of the word ‘woo-woo’ as a way to diminish our beliefs, achievements and self-worth.
Personally, I despise studying due to my neuroquirky brain, however I love learning and this always overtakes my passionate dislike of studying. And when the opportunity presented itself to undertake a Diploma of Professional Psychic I jumped at the chance.
I can sense that look on your face… what on earth could you ‘study’ to complete such a Diploma? How to shuffle cards? How to hunch over a crystal ball dripping in jangly jewellery and scarves? How to reword information clients give you to make it seem like you are ‘reading’ for them? Again. This is not a Hollywood blockbuster about ghosts! And I was actually taught the art of rewording information in one of my degrees not this diploma – I do believe this is referred in corporate world as being a ‘spin doctor’!
My main motivation for undertaking this diploma was to understand the history and the science behind spirituality, mysticism and divination tools. Yes you read that correctly too – the history and the science.
For example, the first recorded use of obsidian glass in the western world for scrying (aka crystal ball reading) was thanks to the admiral of Queen Victoria’s fleet, following an expedition to South America. And when you undertake a corporate personality preferencing test, you’re technically looking at your Tarot archetypes. And the meditative trance-like Automatic Writing started as a parlour game amongst Impressionist artists in France. And Austrian clairvoyant Rudolph Steiner can take credit for things like political science as a discipline, Steiner schools and biodynamic farming. And then there’s Fibonacci sequences, chromotherapy and music therapy. Or where would Tolkien be without the Eddas and Sagas or runes? Or the significance of circumambulation – whether you’re Buddhist or a Freemason.
The list goes on and on. I’m not even going to attempt to credit all the various ancient cultures which held wise/medicine women and men and shamans in the highest of esteem.
You may even be surprised to know two of the subjects you must pass were communication with clients and ethics. Not something you’d find in a Hollywood script.
Despite all of this learning and coming up with amazing work arounds for my brain to achieve 100% for every assignment – from memory there were 18 subjects all up and an assignment for each – I choose to not share this qualification with people as I know the standard definition of the word psychic comes with so much fear, invented imagery and ridicule. Why would I knowingly subject myself to more of the ‘not fitting in’ vibe?
It's interesting when we suddenly discover contradictory beliefs living in our mind, body and spirit! I chose to not share this qualification – well until now - for a couple of reasons. Any of the qualifications I have, I did for me. To learn stuff. I don’t generally share any of my tertiary qualifications. My uni degrees were useful in gaining employment, which I think is kind of sad.
I also didn’t wish to be seen as a ‘woo-woo’ weirdo. Can you begin to imagine the thought of sharing this achievement widely at the time I graduated, while working for police and emergency services? The word ostracised comes to mind. And yet so many officers follow their ‘gut instincts’ in their work. Conundrum hey.
The internal contradictory beliefs I discovered are simply that my whole world and being centres around acceptance and fitting in by not fitting in. And I am very much in the ‘not bothered by others’ opinions, in fact they’re none of my business’ space these days too. And yet despite society evolving and becoming more open to spiritual and mystical beliefs and practices, we continue to brush it all off as something non-tangible and non-existent. Or we outrightly dismiss the history, science and overall genuineness in these non-conformist beliefs as being ‘woo-woo’ and something strange and insignificant or another Hollywood storyline.
As a result, for me, I often hide my mystical side as much as I can so as not to be belittled or classified unacceptable. Or I refer to myself as being ‘woo-woo’ or a ‘fruitloop’ in a ‘don’t mind me ha ha ha…’ manner instead standing firm in my beliefs and my empowerment. This is exactly where the contradiction comes in for someone like me who doesn’t require external validation for my existence and yet I’m not sharing a whole side of my very being based on not being validated or accepted externally.
My head truly hurts right about now!
Perhaps by not using the ‘woo-woo’ or ‘fruitloop’ labels when referring to peoples’ spiritual or mystical ways and accepting these traits and beliefs as nothing other than part of their truly authentic self –– we are able to continue to raise the vibration of acceptance just a little bit more universally.
And I personally may be able to relieve the pain in my head I am causing myself by constantly living in a contradictory mindset.
I am more than willing to change my internal definitions and to stop inadvertently apologising for my learnings and existence. I also choose to be more discerning about the use of labels. And you are more than welcome to give me one those ‘ah-hmmm’ sideway glances if I slip up and use the term ‘woo-woo’ or ‘fruitloop’ post publishing this article.
If you were sitting next to me in the local café and I pulled out a deck of cards and started shuffling to access information about myself or to assist the person I was with access their intuition, would you move tables or would you be willing to simply see me for who I am without labelling me as ‘woo-woo’ or a Hollywood version of a charlatan? Food for thought, hey?
I am Peta-Ann and I have a Bachelor of Arts (Humanities), Bachelor of Letters (Journalism) AND a Diploma of Professional Psychic. I believe in having a soul. I believe our souls love the truth and accept nothing less. I am a mystic.
Woo-woo P-A
November 7, 2023
I know, I ‘know’ stuff, however sometimes I simply need inner validation of the ‘stuff’ I know. And when I say inner validation, I truly mean inner validation. The empowerment and peace I seek will never be found outside of myself. True serenity will always be an inside job. Always.
What do I mean by tangible inner validation? This could truly mean anything to everyone. Some folks use a muscle testing approach, for example. I once knew a soul who would physically lean into her inner knowing. If her body swayed one way, it meant ‘yes’ and the other way would mean ‘no’. A human pendulum if you will.
For me, my first port of call when I’m feeling a wee bit discombobulated about the information flowing through, I pull cards – Oracle and/or Tarot.
For those of you who don’t know this – I am a card-aholic! Yes, I’m publicly declaring this! And if you did already know this, you may not know that I am a Certified Soul Coaching® Oracle Reader and a Angel Tarot reader and my current collection consists of about 40 different hard copy decks and 20 e-decks, as you never know what your soul may be in the mood for on any given day or indeed where you may be when you need to pull a card!
Cards are one of the main ways I connect with my Soul/Higher Self, to access answers I know I have within me, but my logical brain shuts out on occasion. Sometimes the cards give my inner knowing a ‘oh but of course’ nudge and sometimes I have to do a wee bit more pondering to unravel the seemingly ‘what the…’ message! Either way, I do not rely on the cards for answers. They are simply a reflection of what my inner knowing or true self is already aware of and my thinking mind needs to catch up.
And when I am working with clients to re-ignite their own Elegant Rebel® and cards are chosen as a part of a coaching session, I don’t actually read for my clients either. I know, weird hey! It’s not that I cannot or do not want too. My desired end result is for my clients to be able to access their own inner knowing whenever they feel need. The ‘loaves and fishes’ approach to cartomancy if you will.
When working with a client, I take them through a specific visualisation process to discover how they can do this and tap into their own true self and inner knowing – wherever and whenever they want or need to. Of course, I will share any ‘mystical nudges’ with my clients, as necessary, throughout their session. However, the aim is to share knowledge and wisdom about how to access their own inner knowing.
Like shiny rocks, card decks have always found me. I recently fell in love with Alana Fairchild’s Sacred Rebel deck while in the middle of Big W of all places. How could this Elegant Rebel® walk past I ask you? And what a find! What a connection! Truly authentically rebellious cards. I always give my clients the option to choose the deck that resonates most with them to work with or if they are a card-aholic like me, I encourage BYOD (bring your own deck)! I do get quite excited when they’re drawn to this deck – it is certainly not for the feint-hearted!
Cards are just one of the tools in my Elegant Rebel® toolkit. My other favourites are pendulums, soul writing, song lyrics and shamanic journeying. Do you have your own favourite tools which help you connect with your inner knowing? Or are you simply a card-aholic like me? What works best for you? Drop me a message and let me know!.
How does one be an Elegant Rebel?
May 12, 2023
But back to the words – elegant and rebel. I refer to The Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary (Third Edition 2001):
Elegant (adj),
graceful in appearance or manner
tasteful, refined
ingeniously simple and pleasing.
Rebel (in this case noun),
A person who fights against, resists, or refuses allegiance to the established government.
A person who resists authority or control.
Confused yet? Perhaps you are asking yourself if I have completely lost the plot and what on earth have either of these words got to do with Happiness Coaching or thriving beyond breast cancer?
For me these words are the personification of both. In fact, it is society’s obsession with breasts and the ‘need’ to determine what defines being a woman, which re-ignited my rebellious ways.
Elegant Rebels choose to follow their inner-knowing instead of societal norms and take heart-centred action filled with compassion, kindness and grace, for ourselves and others.
For anyone who knows me even a wee bit, you’ll know I’m quite uncomfortable with the word normal or society dictating how I fit in. The simple fact I chose to stay flat eight years ago after my breast cancer diagnosis and bilateral mastectomy, is just one example of how I elegantly rebel.
This was my choice. For me. I am a huge advocate of choice and quietly encouraging others to make choices for their own well-being as opposed to ones based on what others may want or need you to be. And. I choose to be elegantly rebellious.
However, I also choose to disrupt the norm in a quiet, compassionate, accepting, graceful manner. I’m not one to shout people down to stand tall and be myself. My choices are considerate of other people’s opinions, life choices and where they are on their soul path.
Perhaps you are a bit of a quiet disruptor too? There is so much power in grace, compassion and kindness. Does this resonate with you? You too could be an Elegant Rebel™ like me!
And like me, do you want to ask lots of questions and gently cause disruption to place greater emphasis on the acceptance of uniqueness, and develop a greater understanding of the self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence issues many of us endure based on the size, shape and sexualisation of our breasts or for simply being a woman?
To achieve this acceptance and valuing of women, where do we start quietly disrupting society, rebelling against the accepted social norm of ‘woman equals breasts’?
For me, disruption starts with understanding the choices available and gracefully standing up for your personal values. If you’re not aware of your personal values, I strongly recommend taking the time to figure them out. They are your anchor point for all your choices and decision-making. Life becomes just that wee bit simpler to navigate when you are able to ask yourself if a choice or decision is in alignment with, or goes against, your values.
By understanding my personal values, I have the structure I need to push back against our society’s emphasis on requiring breasts, and to rebel against the underlying sexualisation of this need and the non-acceptance of different.
Knowing my values provides me with the courage to share my experience and thoughts. Knowing yours may also assist you in finding your voice and being able to share with the world what your version of normal or, dare I say uniqueness, is.
This is my dream and my wish –to be able to inspire others to find their voices. For the Elegant Rebel™ approach to be someone else’s turning point in finding their own voice to ask questions. To take up their space, gracefully. To stand in their personal power. To ask their questions. To believe in their version of normal. To find their version of truth. To be able to elegantly disrupt society’s version of normal, should they choose. To discover their uniqueness. To celebrate their whole being, mind, body, spirit and soul.
So before any of us head down the ‘I need to be normal’ path, I encourage you to consider elegantly rebelling and ask yourself, ‘what’s best for me?’. Celebrate you as a person. Honour you as a person. Respect you as a person. Love you as a person. That’s your Elegant Rebel™ moment. Your version of normal. It really is that simple for me.
And if you feel you may need a wee bit extra guidance to embrace your own Elegant Rebel™, pop over and book a Connection Chat with me, so we can have a coffee and a natter about how we might be able to work together to re-ignite your Elegant Rebel™.
Purple is my colour, not pink!
February 22, 2023
I am yet to uncover exactly why I despise this colour so vehemently. It could be as simple as I am a purple lover and never the twain shall meet – apparently. It could be its misrepresented use for all things feminine. And like many things I elegantly rebel against, I certainly don’t subscribe to my femininity being based around a certain shade of pink. Nope. Not at all.
If you’re thinking, but it is the colour of femininity P-A, what are you on about? I would urge you to do some research. My favourite theory is back in the olden days, pink was the colour for young males as it is a hue of Cardinal Red while blue was used for females following the religious lines of Mother Mary and Nuns etc. The research even points to the theory it wasn't until after the Second World War that the modern convention (pink for girls, blue for boys) started to dominate, and still, it didn't really become a societal norm until the 1980s, allegedly. There is also research which points to pink being the colour for girls for centuries. You choose which theories sit best with you.
And the point of my rant about pink – it is simply an example of the importance of colour in our lives and how colour effects our emotional responses and dare I say it our well-being. Never fear, I shan’t ever judge anyone for choosing pink or any other colour as their favourite. In fact as a purple lover, there are even shades and hues of purple that I cannot bear. We are all unique and individual – even in colour choices.
And as I sit here writing in my rainbow-coloured dress – magenta included, no ‘baby’ pink – please know, I love colour. It is simply amazing. And just in case you didn’t know, I should divulge right about now that I am actually a colour therapist and a colour analyst, before I start banging on about how fab colour is. Oh and a caveat too – this is where I may go all sciencey on you. As I said, I will never judge your colour choices, I will, however, provide advice on colour choices in certain scenarios if asked and sometimes if not asked – I cannot hide my face tells!
Let’s get the science stuff out of the way – a very abridged physics lesson, if you will. So. Visible light energy is made up of many frequencies and wavelengths and falls between Infrared and ultraviolet and each colour has a different wavelength and frequency. Higher frequency colours – violet, indigo, blue - have smaller wave lengths; higher levels of energy and are more harmful – think UV rays. Lower frequency colours – yellow, orange, red - have longer wave lengths, lower levels of energy and are relatively harmless. Green is smack in the middle and the balance between higher and lower.
From a psychology point of view, Jules B. Davidoff, Professor of Psychology, Director of the Centre for Cognition, Computation and Culture (CCCC), Goldsmiths University of London, researched and critiqued numerous scientific studies around the notion that light from the edges of the spectrum – invisible to the eye, such as ultraviolet – can cause temporary or permanent alterations within the human body and whether the visible colours at the centre of the spectrum – the ones us normal folks can generally see - can have similar effects.
In the 1990s, Davidoff noted studies by a range of scientists had led to similar conclusions and most of this research has focused on the causal connections between emotional states and exposure to colours.
In summarising the findings, Davidoff wrote: Warm (the ‘red’ end of the spectrum) and cold (the ‘blue’ end of the spectrum) colours have been found to differentially alter both physiological and emotional states… Colour is also believed to produce a direct effect on the endocrine system via the pituitary gland; its action is to increase aggressive behaviour under long-wave (red) light and reduce it under short-wave (blue/violet) light. (Jules B. Davidoff, Cognition Through Colour, MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass./London, 1991, p. 113.)
Are you now gaining a sense as to why I love colour? It permeates all areas of our lives. Colour is a powerful, natural form of universal energy. It quite literally surrounds us every day.
And although there are numerous factors which will influence our environments daily, colour is clearly quite a significant one. Colours evoke different reactions and can range from relaxing, energizing or stimulating surroundings to aggravating, draining and boring ones.
I firmly believe in using the energies of light and colour to harmonise the body, mind and soul. For example, the use of red grabs our attention and may stimulate or aggravate our being, whereas the use of blue may calm or relax us and yellow makes most of us think of warm, joyful sunshiney days.
Through embracing the full range of colour in their appropriate proportions, we can achieve balance and harmony in all areas of life such as passion, zest, warmth, relaxation, nourishment, nurturing, introspection and spirituality.
Colour permeates our lives in many different ways such as the colour of a room, the colours we are innately drawn to or repelled by in clothing, food and art. For example, yellow is great for a study as it stimulates your brain to learn and not so great in a bedroom for the exact same reason or in either rooms if you happen to be neurodiverse.
Another example is if you happen to be overheating or have a temperature – stay away from red foods as they are warming foods. Use blue foods to cool down and green foods to balance. All of these ways we receive colour in our lives have an influence on our cognition and well-being.
Ohhhhh and a pink colour I absolute adore – for its psychological/emotional uses only though – is Baker-Miller pink! Another one for you to research. This is an amazing colour. It was developed in 1979 for a naval correctional institute in Seattle, after a study discovered the effect of pink prison cells on prisoners and the colour’s ability to “reduce hostile, violent or aggressive behaviour.” The colour was named after the naval institute’s directors at the time, Baker and Miller.
It was also referred to as Drunk Tank Pink and while subsequent research indicates it may not have this behavioural curbing affect long term, it certainly has a calming affect for a short time. This is why prisoners in the USA are issued with Baker-Miller pink underwear and sometimes outerwear. It’s why it is used in crime prevention initiatives. Another intriguing example of how colour permeates our overall being!
And now for the most fabulous bit about colour – for those of us old enough to remember the 1980s there was a wee bit of a colour revolution that occurred. More so in the United States and Europe, but none the less, many of us had our ‘colours done’. I was 16 at the time. My entire family had their colours done. It was an absolute revelation to me. I suddenly discovered that colour can be the most flattering tool in your wardrobe and is the best tool to complement your natural beauty.
And while I have chosen to wear my ‘best colours’ since then, having this information has helped immensely post breast cancer diagnosis, bilateral mastectomy and choosing to permanently stay flat.
So how does colour help with this, you ask? It really is simple. Wearing the best colour for you means the focus is on your beautiful face and not your clothing or your physique.
And for me, while I do not hide the fact that I no longer have breasts and it’s my choice to go out into the world with my concave chest, I certainly do not purposely draw attention to these physical attributes, in the same way I didn’t intentionally draw attention to the ‘girls’ prior to being diagnosed. One of the best ways to achieve this is through wearing the best colours for you.
When it comes to colours, we all know our likes and dislikes, however knowing what your best colours are opens up all the in-betweens. Like for me, the pink despiser, I do own magenta coloured clothing – which is almost hot pink in colour and I look fabulous in this colour and its part of my colour palette. Thankfully black and royal purple are too – or I would have been a devastated 16-year-old I can tell you!
When you are wearing the best colour for you, the things you and everyone else will notice are:
Your beautiful glowing face becomes the focus of attention.
Your eyes sparkle.
Your skin appears clearer.
Your hair is brighter – yes I know, this is subject to what stage of treatment one is at.
Your complexion is smooth and clarified.
Lines, shadows and circles on your face are minimised
Your face has a healthy glow.
Now. If you are not wearing the best colour, you may get the ‘you look tired’ comments or ‘are you okily dokily?’ question or you hear the dreaded “that’s a great dress; shirt; top etc!” What this means is your face has disappeared and all that is noticeable if the item of clothing instead of you, in all your gorgeousness.
Why does your face disappear when you are wearing a colour which is not optimal for you? The colour of your outfit becomes the focal point and pushes your beautiful face into the background. It’s that simple. The other things you and everyone else will notice are:
Accentuation of shadows, lines, blemishes, and discolouration on your face.
See more lines and shadows around your mouth and nose, even if they are not normally visible to the naked eye.
Dark circles under your eyes are accentuated.
Face may age – and you may look too weak or too strong.
When we learn to use colour confidently, we are able to express our individuality and build a strong, positive self-image. Even elegantly rebel perhaps!
In other words, we regain our confidence through being stylish and authentic. Colours in harmony with your colour palette will enhance your natural beauty and individuality. Your uniqueness is emphasised and celebrated!
Whether it’s the colour you are drawn to every day, or the one you cannot live without, or the one you simply have to paint your office, or the one you NEED to wear – colour has so many positive uses to enhance our overall well-being.
I personally use a colour component in all my Coaching services, whether that’s in the discovery phase or reading oracle cards or determining your best colour palette – colour is an amazing tool to have.
If you’d like to more about my coaching services and how colour may assist you, head over to the Working with P-A page and book a Cuppa & a Natter chat.
And until then to quote Petula Clarke:
You can colour my world with sunshine yellow each day!
You can colour my world with happiness all the way!
Embrace your uniqueness
January 30, 2023
We are all placed under so much pressure to conform to a certain shape, certain height, certain size to be accepted in mainstream and dare I say it to be seen as normal. Personally, I’ve been on some form of doctor initiated ‘diet’ or ‘eating plan’ from an early age, in an attempt to stay average sized. I was a teenager in the 1980s. I was a size 14/16, approximately 76 kilograms and 178cm tall – obese according to all media reports and Cosmo/Cleo/Dolly articles at the time and some members of the medical fraternity. Enter stage left, lifelong body-shaming issues. How did we get this so incredibly wrong?
Perhaps it’s my lived experience – bullied incessantly at primary school for being big and I cannot recall all the times uncouth statements were made in my general direction by ill-mannered and ill-informed people based on my build and size – but I feel, our current obsession with conforming to a societal definition of external beauty needs Taryn’s message now more than ever.
Her passion for every one of us to love the bodies we wonder through life in, is simply awe inspiring. We’ve all had these conversations, as well as the one about the harm the beauty and diet industry may cause, since the enhancement of photos for publication began. Messages we have been hearing for decades, however Taryn’s directness and authenticity seems to be what has been lacking in previous messaging.
And living life on social networking platforms and through digital media has certainly exacerbated the issues previously played down.
For decades I outwardly appeared to be rejecting society’s version of normal. I ‘performed’ in plus-sized (please note this term is used under duress) fashion shows. I developed a steely look of ‘go on I dare you to say something’ – I haven’t lost this look by the way – and a witty comeback to shut down conversations. And I don’t know how many times I have agreed with people that ‘yes my build allows me to carry off my size’. I appeared to be confident. Yet internally I was constantly determining what I had to do to be more normal looking – more exercise; more diets; more weird-arse fat loss programs.
And despite cognitively recognising I didn’t need to fit into the average mould, it was being diagnosed with breast cancer and having a bilateral mastectomy which led to my life altering mindset change. It was 2016, post mastectomy and post revision surgery when I dragged the decades of despising my body to the see what the Embrace movement was all about.
In fact, assisting at an Embrace Fundraiser was my first major outing after I had decided to stay flat. I was still nervous about my choices and how I would be received publicly.
There had been an inkling of a mindset change prior to arriving at the event. I had already started writing my book about staying flat and elegantly rebelling against society's need to tell me what I should look like. I’d even thrown a massive tantrum about myself, and other breast cancer thrivers being told to lose weight to have reconstruction surgery.
And as I watched the Embrace film that night, every fear I'd ever felt about my body was suddenly appearing on the big screen. I wasn't the only one wanting to scream 'no' and 'stop' at every person who had ever questioned my size, shape or appearance. Or attempted to belittle me or make me feel small simply because I didn’t equal their uneducated version of normal and average.
It was that night in New Farm I decided "I got this”.
And I truly have got this – thanks to the Taryn sharing her passion and dedication through the Embrace movement and ever so oddly by being the owner of a bilateral mastectomy.
Embracing our bodies for me is about being your stylish authentic self. It’s about celebrating everything uniquely you and elegantly rebelling against society’s beauty constructs. However that manifests for you – not what society, or the beauty industry or diet industry determines. Or the latest influencer or fad on whatever social networking platform you are following.
For me embracing our bodies equals joyful living. Moving my body every day is a huge part of this, as I know how important this is to my body’s well-being. I too have learnt to not be regimented about what movement I do. It could be as simple as an oceanside walk or a weights session or exuberant gardening or furniture moving. Today it’s dancing!
Other components of my version of joyful living are eating nourishing, high vibrational foods, meditating and practising mindfulness. And like Taryn, having a better appreciation of my body, I am more aware of what it takes to look after it, which contributes to making me a better person for me and those I choose to share my world with.
And for those who have read my book “What happens when they don’t grow back…” – gratuitous plug here – you will know the importance of the tune “All about that bass”, so I shall hand my final para over to Meghan Trainor:
I see the magazines workin' that Photoshop
We know that sh*t ain't real
C'mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top.
And as always - remember to celebrate your uniqueness every day!
What's in a word?
January 13, 2023
To quote Power Words Author, Sharon Anne Klingler, “Every word carries an energy that can be sensed, regardless of whether you are thinking it, speaking it, hearing it or reading it on a page.”
Do you ever get a ‘sense’ about a word? As in an energetic feeling or response about individual words. And I’m not referring to the dictionary meaning of a word, I mean an inner knowing about whether a word feels masculine or feminine or neither; or triggers some response deep within you; or simply holds a power for you that causes specific responses.
And if you do feel the energy and power of words, do you ever take notice of how your body, mind, spirit responds to that energy?
For example, putting on my Colour Therapist hat briefly, when you think, hear, speak or read the word blue – what do you feel? Your responses may range from cold to calm to ocean to depressed, for example, depending on your associated feelings with the word blue.
Words are so much more than their definition – they hold energy and power. Something that, as a writer, is at the forefront of my mind and mind’s eye all day, every day!
Another example for you. I refer to myself as an Elegant Rebel. I have done so for a very long time, and I discuss many of the reasons why in my book. For me, the word rebel has a masculine energy – and I emphasise energy not gender. It’s an action word; it’s a fighting word; it’s a tortured soul word – think James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause here.
I live and breathe balance. Sometimes if a word feels overly masculine or feminine, I will need to balance it out with its other half so to speak. Enter stage left the word ‘Elegant’ which instantly brings images of Audrey Hepburn or Sophia Loren – simple, graceful elegance. The antithesis of the dictionary meaning of rebel perhaps. And yet for me, these two words work together so harmoniously, qualifying a multitude of traits – inherent or acquired.
Personally, I need to balance words energetically when writing, as I do in life in general. ‘Elegant’ is the perfect balance word. It brings in the feminine energy. As such, to elegantly rebel means to disrupt societal norms, gracefully and simply with compassion and kindness. This is the underlying reason I use the term ‘Elegant Rebel’ a lot in my branding and my writing.
However, it’s not just the balancing of words energetically – it’s also about being aware how the energy and power of the words you use may affect others around you. In my book I touch on a few that resonate with me in a less than positive way. These include ‘just’, ‘only’, ‘deformity’ and my ultimate not so favourite – ‘journey’. The incorrect use of the word ‘impact’ is another one as is the word ‘healer’. These words have a ‘deep, hackle raising’ effect on me. And yet I can guarantee the person sitting next to me this morning in the Vet’s Rooms wouldn’t bat an eyelid at any of these words. The energy and power of words connects to your subconscious which may trigger a response, and dare I say reaction, to certain words.
Your response or reaction is special to you and your lived experiences. It may even highlight for you some areas of your personal development or self-care which need additional attention.
I was reminded of another of my clanger words recently while listening to a ‘Facebook live’ by a very beautiful soul. Her broadcast reminded me of a word which rips at my core… compliment. I break out into a cold sweat when someone starts talking about compliments, let alone giving me one. Now. I’m attuned enough to realise my challenge with accepting compliments is, in a simplistic view, linked to my sense of personal value and self-worth. However, it goes even deeper for me, and I suspect many other folks, too if they realised what they were doing.
One of my core, longstanding values is respect. An altogether powerful word indeed. It has a ‘worth fighting for’ energy about it for me. So. When I recognise, I am disrespecting someone unintentionally, my inner monologue goes directly into meltdown.
But what has this got to do with the word compliment? Good question – I shall tell you. When you consciously choose to rebuke a compliment bestowed upon you, you are simply being disrespectful.
Another sentient being as taken the time and effort and, in some cases, stepped out of their comfort zone to pay you a compliment and what is the standard fear-based response – ‘nah…’ or ‘that’s not true’ or ‘you need glasses’ etc – all invalidating statements. Unintentionally devaluing the thoughts of another. Disrespecting them.
Of course, it’s also a huge neon sign highlighting the inner work you may require on your self-worth etc – but if that thought also sends you into a cold sweat, start with the power of the word respect. Start by respectfully accepting the compliment as opposed to trigging similar devaluing feelings in the compliment giver. And following this, respect yourself by acknowledge the underlying reasons why you wanted to debunk the thoughts of another and then commence the hard work of unpacking your self-worth needs.
The power and energy of words will differ for every single one of us, as it depends on our own personal experiences. We all have words which are associated with joyous, peaceful memories and moments as well as words which we associate with unpleasant and painful memories – see journey for me!
William Somerset Maughan once said “words have weight, sound, and appearance”. Have a ponder – are there any words which immediately spring to your mind which trigger specific feelings or maybe a name or even a place? Our self-conscious attaches emotions to the words in our lives giving them the power and energy to subsequently colour our world and, on occasion, provide the undercurrent of how we view our world too. And in some cases, why we break out in cold sweats and cannot continue listening or reading to someone or something.
To quote Sharon Anne Klingler again, “The language you use brings forth the life that you create. And the words that you use over and over are the language that teaches you - and teaches the world about you. Your words are reflections - images of yourself.”
What words do you sense the energy and power of? Do you feel this in your soul? How do you use language – consciously or not – to create your world? A challenge for you – have a go at noticing these things – the energy of a word and how you respond. You may surprise yourself how much you do feel the energy and power of words. They will never simply be ‘words’ ever again.
An Early Christmas Pressie
“… enormously inspirational, even for anyone who
hasn’t had a bilateral mastectomy. Every life has challenges which can
overwhelm us … or strengthen us. Peta-Ann’s heartfelt, unique book gives you
powerful strategies on how to manoeuvre through life’s hiccups and trials to
come out on the other side radiant and filled with life force energy. … on
track to be a classic read for anyone considering a mastectomy. It’s filled
with practical research, but at the same time gives credence to the power of
spirit on your healing journey. Highly recommended!” Denise
Linn, Bestselling Author of Sacred Space; Feng Shui for the Soul and
Energy Strands .
As I sit here marvelling at the balance of the dove outside my window sauntering down the fence navigating the overhanging palm fronds, I am reminded that I love finding the magic in the small things. It’s one of those things that brings joy into my world.
And then there's the fantasmagorically huge random moments from outside sources as well. I received the above recommendation for my wee tome recently and to say I was blown away, again, is an understatement. It was akin to an early Christmas pressie.
Denise Linn is an amazingly beautiful soul who I have incredible respect and admiration for. She is also a renowned best-selling author and founder of the International Institute of Soul Coaching® and Momma-Bear to all of us Certified Soul Coaching® Oracle Readers which I am honoured to now be as well!
Denise’s recommendation reminded me that we can learn from everyone’s experience – the one I chose to write about was what I discovered from being diagnosed with breast cancer. But to be honest this was the circumstance not the learnings.
For some reason many of us forget – me certainly - that situations like the one I found myself in are circumstances and we have choices – exceptionally tough choices sometimes – but choices nonetheless.
It’s following through on your choices, not following what someone else tells you, you should be doing; thinking; feeling; sensing that leads you to be able to show up authentically every day irrespective of the circumstances you find yourself in. This is one of the big reminders I received and share with readers throughout my wee tome.
Throughout the Holiday Season, no matter your circumstances, keeping looking for the fence balancing dove and manifesting your daily dose of magic!
The season for joy – is it really?
With all the end of year activities and celebrations upon us, I don’t know about you, but I feel greater pressure to be outwardly happy. I tend to become more of a hermit this time of year, purely in an effort to preserve my sense of peace and, wait for it, my sense of happiness.
Huge parties do not bring me happiness. Drunk colleagues do not bring me happiness. Overcrowded shopping centres with exhausted customer service staff members certainly do not bring me joy, peace or happiness. The ocean glistening in the sunshine does bring me joy – crowded beaches do not. Simple coffee catch ups with my close friends and family bring me joy – as they do any other time of year. Which made me think - what does happiness mean to other folks?
According to Louise Heite, Life Activator, Happiness Coach – and I agree completely with her summation by the way: “Everybody has different opinions, so if I’m talking about happiness, does it mean the same thing as your definition of happiness? Probably not. So. It’s really about questioning it and identifying it for yourself. It’s not my happiness. My happiness is not your happiness, and vice versa.”
For me, when I think about the word happiness, it feels like a fleeting state of being such as enjoying chocolate; having pretty hair; or any kind of dopamine rush really. I do not sense it to be a truly sustainable feeling. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t believe in happiness. For me, sustainable happiness lands in the realm of living my values everyday such as joy, peace, contentment, playfulness and optimism.
Perhaps the difference between my versions of happiness could be summed up simply as finding happiness vs seeking inner happiness. And you definitely do need both versions in your world every single day!
However, I personally do not rely on external influences to bring happiness into my world. I’m not one to say things like “I’ll be happy when… I buy a house or get a new job or find a stunning piece of amethyst jewellery… hmmm I may need to reconsider that last one. But you get what I mean. For me, happiness is an internal job. Finding happiness from wanting to obtain something externally, is also dependent on others and circumstances outside of your control. You are giving your power over to circumstance or others in the hope of obtaining happiness. Not really a positive overall long-term way of living in my books.
To feel contentment, peace, joy and all the other sustainable feelings of happiness – finding it within yourself is the golden ticket. Then, whether you get the house or not, or whether you get that job or not, you will feel peaceful and contented.
I hear you saying this is all very fabulous information, but how do I work out what happiness means to me? And why should I care anyway?
Let’s tackle why should you care first – ultimately, we all want to live with greater joy. Simple as that. And if you are struggling to work out what happiness means to you – perhaps a Happiness Coach could assist.
What is Happiness Coaching I hear you quizzically asking. No doubt you may have added some additional adjectives between either ‘what’ and ‘is’ or ‘is’ and ‘Happiness’ or maybe even both.
When I first stumbled across Happiness Coaching I too had that quizzical, well that’s rather an intriguing concept face. Okeh it was more a WTAF? face. And then as every introvert in the world does… I started researching this befuddling term. It turns out not to be what I was expecting. In fact, the term ‘Happiness Coaching’ has less to do with happiness and more to do with how I approach day-to-day life.
Happiness coaching is a simple concept – working with a coach to change whatever isn’t allowing you to live authentically; as well as working to decrease any unhelpful and unhealthful thought patterns. In fact, you could even describe it as reversing the FOMO thought process and savouring all that is good in our lives instead – especially finding magic in all the small things. And here’s an idea – working out how to embrace everything life has to offer instead always focusing on lack and thinking you missing out. Perhaps even stepping out of the ‘victim mentality’ which has its clutches on you whether you realise it or not.
The main goal of a Happiness Coach is to empower their clients to live happier lives – whatever this means for the client, not the coach. The one thing a Happiness Coach will not and should not profess to do is “make their clients’ happy”.
And how do I know all of this you may be asking yourself right about now… well I am a Certified Happiness Coach – didn’t see that coming hey! So if you’re wanting more peace and joy in everyday life, find yourself a Happiness Coach. I may even be available!!!
Always remember to celebrate your uniqueness and in the words of Dr Suess “There’s no one youer than you!”
Sometimes other's opinions do matter...
While I am not someone who cares what others’ opinions of me are, and in fact I firmly believe that someone else’s opinion is absolutely none of my business, a book review is a whole other ball game.
To say I was nervous and perhaps even a wee bit pensive while awaiting my first official industry review is definitely an understatement. And then it arrived and there were tears. Tears of relief and more excitedly, joy. I’m also not a crier. It’s not something I do very often, and it is generally because of frustration more than anything. But on this occasion, becoming a IndieReader Approved author caused my eyes to leak.
Some takeaways from the review by IndieReader’s James Weiskittel include:
“Tackling a heavy topic with a lighthearted, conversational tone, Peta Ann-Wood’s WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY DON’T GROW BACK is a powerful biography that educates, inspires, and challenges deep-rooted perceptions.”
“Maintaining a sense of humor when discussing a topic that is anything but funny is no small feat, but Peta Ann-Wood manages to do just that with WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY DON’T GROW BACK: The Upside Down View of Life After a Bilateral Mastectomy.”
I am completely blown away by James’ review and so excited that he found the underlying message of my writing. I love he was able to sense the fragmented sentence structure was intentionally undertaken. I have a very expressive face when I am chatting and this was my way to emulate my facial expressions.
Ultimately, I want readers to feel after reading my book that irrespective of what life throws their way, they can navigate their odyssey elegantly, stylishly and authentically.
James found this underlying theme: “There’s a massive takeaway here, and it has little do with breasts and everything to do with self-empowerment … the themes of personal empowerment and self-advocacy will benefit readers from all walks of life, regardless of whether or not they have a personal connection to breast cancer.”
And for those of us who happen to be bilateral mastectomy owners, it is a reminder to celebrate our uniqueness whether this means staying flat, having reconstruction or being in between and wearing prosthesis. For me – no boobs are required!
I am honoured to be an IndieReader’s Approved Author and to receive an IR Rating of 4.7. Have a gander at James Weiskittel’s full review here!
What truly is normal?
(excerpt from What Happens When They Don't Grow Back)
... First things first. What is this word ‘normal’? Who defines it really? I grabbed one of my many versions of the Oxford Dictionary—yes, I have a few— and it is an adjective which means 'conforming to standard, usual, regular, ordinary'. So why is everyone so hellbent on feeling normal? It truly is such a benign word.
I’ve known since birth that I didn’t fit into the society-accepted version of normal. You know, when you don’t fit in because you’re always too something. For me, I was too big, too tall, too smart, feet too big, breasts way too big, hair too thick or too curly . . . the list goes on. To quote my younger brother, ‘Not fitting in with society’s version of normal is exactly how I fit in.’
I chose at an early age to not subscribe to what someone else’s opinion of normal was. For me, I choose to be elegantly unique, stylish and authentic, and, as an introvert, to keep much of my thinking inside my head. Until now, that is.
To set the scene, I’m living well, with and beyond breast cancer. I was diagnosed a couple of months prior to my forty-sixth birthday, and my initial surgical treatment was a bilateral mastectomy and lymph node removal. I have subsequently chosen to ‘stay-flat’, meaning no prosthesis, no reconstruction, and very concave ribs, or divots, if you will.
This was my educated choice of what was best for me. I am highly supportive of everyone’s individual choices in this space, whether you choose to have reconstruction, wear prosthesis or none of the above. It’s your choice, your decision, and, quite frankly, no one else’s business.
I am also hugely supportive of all the associated healthcare providers and charities assisting breast cancer survivors and mastectomy recipients to find their feet again, whatever their version of normal is: flat, prosthesis or reconstruction.
What I am not supportive of is the focus on what society dictates is required for women to feel normal again. After a mastectomy, this somehow equals having reconstruction or wearing prosthesis. No other option equates to normal, according to almost every media report I have ever read or seen. Even reading some recent research into reconstruction, I discovered I allegedly have more mental-health issues because I haven’t had reconstruction. I think you’ll find my response to that would be: ‘Really?’
And then there’s the clinicians who refer to my rolled-under, concave ribs as a deformity, and reconstruction should fix them. Once again, I am deemed not normal. However, at no point is the definition of normal questioned. At no point is an alternative version of normal portrayed. At no point is anyone asked where their version of normal comes from, or why it’s important to them. It is simply assumed being female equals breasts equals normal, for everyone.
I have decided to rebel against this version of normal, quietly and definitively...
Before you head down the ‘I want to be normal’ path, ask yourself, What’s best for me? Celebrate you as a person. Honour you as a person. Respect you as a person. Love you as a person. That’s your version of normal. It really is that simple for me.
elegant rebel
Who is PeAchy the Owl?
I have had an obsession - yes obsession - with owls for over 50 years. Long before Hedwig appeared on our screens! But akin to Hedwig, it has often been reported that I have three young, gorgeously cheeky Snow Owls ethereally hanging around me. Part of my Spirit Counsel even. A drawing of these sightings lead to PeAchy being designed, specifically for me.
As well as loving all things owlie, I am also well known to respond with "peachy keen" when asked how I am or how I'm going etc. To the point that in some circles I am even referred to as Aunty PeAchy. And if you look really closely at PeAchy's winking expression, you may even see my initials. I do love amazingly clever graphic designers who intuitively get you!
But why do I love owls so much? For me they represent perception, intuition and true wisdom. Through silent observation, Owls can see what others cannot, which is the essence of true wisdom. And like PeAchy the Owl, we are all able to use our power of keen, silent observation to intuitively understand the situations and circumstances life throws at us. Which is why she appears throughout my book - What Happens When They Don't Grow Back - sharing little pearls of wisdom to encourage readers to believe in their inner knowing and to remember our souls do have the answers to every question we ever ask ourselves - we simply have to silently tune in, listen and observe our inner knowing.
PeAchy will be providing regular tips, announcements and musings from her Perch. And while it may not always be overtly obvious, the underlying intention of all of PeAchy's musings is to provide you with the inspiration to follow your own inner knowing and take the first step to celebrating you as a person; honouring you as a person; respecting you as a person; and loving you as a person.
And as I drink my tea from a Mad Hatter's 10/6 tea cup remember there is 'noone youer than you'. Celebrate your uniqueness every day!
With love'n'light
PeAchy
(aka Peta-Ann)
