What is Happiness Coaching?

‘Happiness Coaching’ has less to do with happiness and more to do with how I approach day-to-day life.

It is a simple concept – working with a coach to change whatever isn’t allowing you to live authentically and to be able to feel joy; as well as working to decrease any unhelpful and unhealthful thought patterns. In fact, you could even describe it as reversing the FOMO thought process and savouring all that is good in our lives instead – especially finding magic in all the small things. And here’s an idea – working out how to embrace everything life has to offer instead always focusing on lack and thinking you’re missing out.

The main goal as a Happiness Coach is to empower my clients to live happier, joyful, contented, peacful lives – whatever this means for the client, not me. The one thing as a Happiness Coach I will never and should never profess to do is “make my clients’ happy”.

You’re a very literal person. Why Oracle Cards and Soul Coaching® with Oracle Cards?

I love Oracle Cards. It truly is that simple. For me it’s like having access to your personal Life Coach 24/7 – if you let yourself step out of your mind and into your heart long enough to hear your Soul’s truth speaking to you through the cards.

As a Soul Coaching® Oracle Reader I am able to create a safe place for my clients to discover their own inner knowing and inner wisdom. I am honoured to assist them in clearing away their inner clutter so they can hear the messages for within. Using Oracle Cards in my coaching sessions isn’t about me telling my clients the answers to their questions, it’s about helping them discover the answers and information nestled away in their own soul and access their own inner Elegant Rebel.

This is certainly not your typical movie inspired ‘fortune-teller’ card reading. Don’t get me started on this topic!

Clients play a very active role in Soul Coaching sessions as in Happiness Coaching. The cards are used to enhance, verify and move forward my client’s access to their own inner knowing.

It’s simply a more soulful approach to traditional coaching and a wonderful way to inspire clients to take action!

So you have just written a book … What's it’s all about?

To quote Dr Suess - "there's noone youer than you." I celebrate uniqueness and am quite proud of the fact I haven’t ever fitted into society’s ‘normal’ mould.

But what has this got to do with my book, What Happens When They Don’t Grow Back, you ask? Have you ever had the thought or has someone said to you, they need to "find themselves" after a life altering event? For us Gen Xers, this used to involve popping off to India or Tibet, like we've been cloned and somehow our other self ended up on a continent miles away.

What if I was to say, your life altering event wasn't about finding yourself, but rather the cue to remind yourself exactly who you are, instead of conforming to some version of normal you’re told you should be? Too cerebral? Luckily, my book is the quirky, chatty somewhat simple view of exactly this concept.

To quote Black Adder, I used to have enormous breasty dumplings. Then they decided to try and shuffle me off this mortal coil and I subsequently had a bilateral mastectomy as treatment for breast cancer.

What Happens When They Don’t Grow Back is about my life altering event and is an insight into how and why I went against society's need for normal and the perception that women need breasts to be accepted and numerous other aha moments along the way.

And as I do in almost every situation, I decided to elegantly rebel and chose to stay flat – meaning no prosthesis, no reconstruction, and very concave ribs. If you were standing in front of me right now, I can all but guarantee your inner voice would be saying “I didn’t realise she doesn’t have breasts!” My book also covers how I achieve this illusion and trickery.

Bottomline – my book is filled to the brim with the science stuff, the woo-woo and everything in between. I use the circumstances and events surrounding my version of the breast cancer odyssey in the hope to assist others discovering you don’t need to find yourself, just a reminder you are enough as you are. Stylishly. Authentically. And for me - no boobs required.

What inspired you to write the book? A particular person? An event?

I received a very out of the blue breast cancer diagnosis in 2015 at the age of 45.

Post diagnosis I discovered, like many folks, I did not fit into the media driven stereotypes of a breast cancer survivor – I didn’t find a lump; I didn’t lose my hair; I didn’t have radiation. And I do not claim to have an inkling of understanding of what it is like to go through these versions of breast cancer.

I did, however, have a bilateral mastectomy and revision surgery. Subsequently I have ribs that move around due the amount of scar tissue involved with the various surgeries. Additionally, I have had numerous people tell me I can’t have had cancer because I didn’t lose my hair or I look so well etc etc… or I didn’t have THE cancer. Whatever that actually means.

And then there was the “Save the Boobs” sticker sighting – which I go into detail in my book. This event was the moment I pulled the WTAF face and started down my ‘where’s the acceptance for everyone and why are we allowing society to tell us what we need to look like’ path.

Then I found myself having a ‘but why?’ whinge to one of my brothers about the lack of information available specifically for those of us youngish bilateral mastectomy owners and how there seemed to be an unbalanced focus on being ‘normal’ again – meaning reconstruction or wearing prosthesis.

The brother I was chatting to is very action oriented, so he threw the challenge out – “instead of bleating about it, what are you going to do about it? You’re a journo remember – so you CAN write!”. Challenge accepted. I penned the first draft of What Happens When They Don’t Grow Back in 2016. Numerous drafts later – a wee bit of a hiatus while I attempted to return to my former career – and cut to November 2021 when my Business Coach gave me an ultimatum and a deadline. Another challenge accepted. Another re-write and it was ready for the world!

What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?

My hope is that by reading my wee tome, others will have a giggle and find the information and adventures I share freeing and provide the impetus to rebel against or at least question societal norms. Ultimately, I would love folks to recognise we don't need external permission to be our truly authentic selves.

What Happens When They Don’t Grow Back is a different point of view - an upside down one even - of choices post bilateral mastectomy. With an emphasis on choice. And what I love is that many of the topics I write about are transferable across any circumstances in life – I just happened to have been through the breast cancer odyssey.

I fervently hope my book disrupts our society's obsession with needing breasts to be classified as female and provides the momentum for others to make their personal choices for themselves – no one else.

Through my book I also am hoping there is a little less judgement and a whole lot more acceptance of everyone – irrespective of your diagnosis and treatment regime – and that we all feel visible throughout our whole odyssey.

Additionally, I wish to share general information on how to keep thriving beyond breast cancer. This includes sharing with readers the occasional odd things that may occur to your mind, body and spirit post bilateral mastectomy. Situations which are not normally discussed at time of diagnosis and treatment. These include physical changes; how movement assists; how using colour helps; how knowing your personal style helps with clothing choices post mastectomy; understanding the role intuition plays in re-finding yourself and celebrating all that is uniquely you.

Laughter is another reason for reading What Happens When They Don’t Grow Back. I want people to laugh at all the crazy scenarios I have put my body, mind and soul through post mastectomy and have similar aha moments to what I had, when I found out that the crazy scenarios aren't that crazy - simply consequences of a bilateral mastectomy.

Ultimately, I want readers to feel, irrespective of what life throws their way, they can navigate the odyssey elegantly, stylishly and authentically. And for those of us bilateral mastectomy owners, it is a reminder to celebrate our uniqueness whether this means staying flat, having reconstruction or being in between and wearing prosthesis.

When did you first decide to become an author?

I was 15. Sitting in a chemistry class watching my classmates working out exactly how much acid it would take to burn a hole through the almost 10cm thick textbook – we’re talking the early 80s when W&HS wasn’t really a thing, and this was definitely an unauthorised experiment – and I simply started jotting down ideas for a book. No idea where it came from. While I loved writing, the reason I was in a chemistry class was because I wanted to be a pharmacist. The universe had other ideas. Chemistry and physics went out the window and a world of writing-based studies and careers took over. I’m yet to write that book, but it and the title I came up with way back then remain a firm addition in my writing to do list.

Is this the first book you’ve written?

As the Cheshire Cat declared, “Every adventure requires a first step.” Writing What Happens When They Don’t Grow Back proudly as an indie, is my first step.

I’ve been a writer most of my life, however this is my first foray into the world of book publishing as an author, and didn’t I choose quite the disruptive topic to kick things off. And because I am well known for having a coffee and a natter, the writing style I chose is intentionally akin to hanging out and having a cuppa with me. Even the use of sentence fragments and the occasional quizzical spelling choices are all intentional and have artistic meaning – well to me at least!

What’s a great piece of advice that you can share with fellow indie authors?

To me, it's an obvious answer - have the faith in your ability to write and write from your heart and soul. For me, overthinking is a death knell for any writers - and I've learnt this from experience.

Although this is my first book, this is not the first time I've been published. I am fortunate enough to have had a long career in writing - anything from publications; copy writing; speech writing to ghost writing as well as editing. And while I know I can write, the little voice inside my head sometimes tells me I am dreaming and I cannot write, let alone believing anyone would be interested in anything I had to write about!

It took a long time to work out this was simply a fear response stemming from overthinking. We’ve all been there. That age old thought process of – ‘have I done enough research; have I got the tone correct for the target audience; are the legals correct; are the...; have the... ; is everyone going to like what I have read’ .... etc etc etc. I discovered all these processes appear to become exponentially more challenging issues in your head as an indie!

If you find yourself following a similar path, work out how to calm your overthinking monkey mind - for me I box breathe or go for a walk or make a coffee. If you’re a list writer – go for it, brain dump those fears and thoughts! Whatever works for you to regroup and re-find your heart centre, so you can keep writing. And do this. Please. Just keep writing.

Is there something in particular that motivates you (fame? fortune?)

My motivation comes from the simple hope of inspiring others and being of service. My focus is on, and was on, how will What Happens When They Don’t Grow Backhelp someone else or inspire someone else to follow their uniquely authentic path in life.

I am motivated by hearing the stories of other people enduring similar circumstances; feeling invisible and not knowing where to turn next.

I'm also inspired by laughter and seeing the quirky, upside down, sometimes funny view of events and people and how sharing serious topics in a light-hearted manner can make life easier for folks travelling a similar path.

I am inspired by the possibility that readers will feel, irrespective of what life throws their way, that they can navigate the odyssey elegantly, stylishly and authentically. To discover they don't need external permission to be their truly authentic selves.

Which writer, living or dead, do you most admire?

As I sit here staring at my Trixie Belden collection – Kathryn Kenny for gifting me escape and adventure; Lewis Caroll for so many reasons; Dr Suess for teaching me about green eggs and ham; Maggie Alderson for opening my eyes to being able to use wit when writing about everyday situations; Paulo Coelho for simply being so inspirational – my life changed immeasurably after reading Brida. John Stuart Mill was life changing for me too – once I worked out how to process the contradictions in his words.

This list could be incredibly expansive. I am not sure I have admiration for a single writer. I have been influenced by so many, that my admiration is for anyone who takes quill/pencil/pen to paper to write and share from their heart centre.

Which book do you wish you could have written?

Simply so many choices to answer this question! It won’t be a surprise to anyone that Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Peter Pan – think about my name – are two of my all-time favourite books! These books are filled with curiosity and unlimited possibilities and lots of giggling at life and its obscurities.

I firmly believe my love for these works is why I am one of those very curious souls who chooses to laugh at the challenges life throws us, as opposed to crying, and who looks for all possibilities in the seemingly impossible situation. I do believe the Cheshire Cat’s character taught me to look at life upside-down.

However, the book which changed my world and I would’ve loved to have written is Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach.

And if I think about it, my own book has a very similar understory. Jonathan encouraged us to follow our hearts and dreams; and to teach others the joy of freedom, to follow their dreams and that there’s more to our lives than meets the eye. Jonathan taught me to elegantly rebel and to be that soul encouraging others to follow their version of elegant rebellion too. He taught us ‘it’s time to fly’.

Would you go traditional if a publisher came calling?  If so, why?

Being as ancient as I am, being published by a giant publishing house seemed to be on everyone’s bucket list and the theme of so many movies when I was growing up! A traditional publisher coming a-calling was a thing dreams were made of. And then I grew up – well as much as I could, of course – and discovered a brighter world of storytelling.

Prior to publishing as an indie, I could have gone either way. Now, I’m not sure I would fit or want to fit into the traditional publishing box. I write from my lived experience and having worked in the Media and PR fields for so long, including being an Executive Editor, I feel being an indie is the only way I can maintain the integrity of my key messages and my writing style. 

I am so proud to be an indie, to go traditional now would involve a great deal of negotiation and agreement, particularly around creative freedom. I may also fall into the ‘nightmare client’ category for a traditional publisher, as I NEED to spell ok, as ‘okeh’ you see!